On a personal note, I have not blogged the last few days because I was home sick, nothing serious, just the common cold, but I slept all day Monday and has appointments Tuesday.
The freedom of letting go, the past few months I have been struggling with my ministry, as many of you may have figured out from reading some of my blog postings. Well I have made a decision and wrote my letter and sent it off. It was received and responded too. The feeling was one of relief, of a great burden being lifted from me. I literally felt the stress leave me on the day I sent the letter off. But it was not over yet, yes I had made my decision, but I still had to have a meeting with the director of religious education and my partner in the whole project and company. We still needed our face to face.
In truth I was not looking forward to this meeting, I am friends with her and as I have stated we are also partners in STATIC Solutions, the company that produces the materials we use at our church. So there are a lot of crossovers that happen. So my decision will affect not only my church but also my company and my friend. The dinner meeting was not on the top of my lists of want to do’s, but it was a have to do. So I did. In the end the meeting went off rather well and I cannot complain, and once again a great burden was lifted from me and I felt a freedom I have not felt in sometime.
My decision was to leave the ministry I am currently doing for my Church; I resigned my position as youth minister for the middle school youth effective July 1st of 2009. The hardest part is going to be leaving the kids, but it is for them that I have chosen this path. I was no longer an affective minister, after 4 years of fighting the political crap of the Church, I was no longer able to separate the two, and my bitterness was entering in to my ministry. My hope was that the politics would change, but I have grown to understand that unless the parish office changes that politics will remain.
The sad part is that the politics are anti-youth, they have a policy of youth should be seen but not heard, and I have a policy that youth should be heard above all. Now I know that both are extremes, and in truth all I was looking for was equality, youth and adults on an even playing field. But the politics and policies of the church would not allow this to happen. It truly is a sad state of affairs.
But knowing now that I am leaving has lifted a great veil from my eyes, and I can now see more clearly that I have been able to for many months. A freedom has entered my soul and my voice has returned. I will continue to champion for the youth of my parish and of my faith. I will continue to find new and exciting ways to introduce the faith to the youth and the youth to the faith.
The Holy Spirit has moved me on to a new and exciting path, one that I must forge out with trust in the Lord. God has begun a new life for me, now I must blaze the trail that will lead to him. Pray for me, pray for the youth and pray for the Church.