Rest my Soul

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Times have changed for me, in the past I would be looking forward to this weekend like no other. You see the plans are to go camping in western Michigan, near Lake Michigan, with my sister and her 3 girls. But I am not really looking forward to it. I’m not sure why, but I am not. 

It could be that I have been to western Michigan many, many times, or it could be that the girls are getting older, they are 18,20 and 21, and the fun is just not there now, it is more attitude than fun. Or it could just be me and the current mood I am in. It’s hard to tell. But still it is an odd state for me to be in. I love my state and I truly love Lake Michigan. I always look forward to our yearly trips to the western part of the state and to the tip of the state. But not this time around… How odd… 

Is it a sign of growing old or a sign that I need a change? Or is it no sign at all… I could not tell you. It may be that for the past month or so I have been on the run. In July my Nephew had his graduation party and as part of that party his friend and two younger brothers had to stay the night. My nephews friend lives about 30 minutes away and needed to be picked up, I offered but told him he would have to come the day before and leave the following day, because I did not want to go anywhere the day of the party, too much to do. His mom was not going to be home, and she did not want to leave his younger brothers home alone, so asked if I would mind if they also came. I had no issues with that, so come they did. But they never left… for four weeks…. Than I was gone for one week in Chicago for a convention for work, and upon returning had to help my Nephews friends mother move out of her house and in to my sister’s house, in the process I ended up with her eldest boy, my nephews friend, living with us and my sister gained her two boys (who were staying with me) and the mom. It has been a crazy few weeks, so who knows, I may just be going crazy, so Lake Michigan may not sound all that good to me, or I may just want to be alone… 

Being alone… Man that sounds good to me.. no one around, no sounds no questions, no one to care for… man! Even if it was just for a day or two… maybe that’s it, maybe that’s why I am not excited about this trip, maybe I just want to be left alone… 

It maybe rest that I am looking for, and I know I will not find it on the camping trip… I know I will not be alone. Sure I may relax on this trip, but I will not rest. I have to work until 4:30 or 5pm, will not hit the road to head to the west until 5:30 or 6pm, so it wont be until 9ish, so that means Friday is a wast, Saturday I am sure the girls will want to go on the dune buggy rides across the sand dunes, that a trip to the town and maybe a visit to Lake Michigan, so Saturday is spent, Sunday we will pack up to return home… Relax, maybe, rest… NOPE…. 

“Rest in Me” is what God tells us, and I for one really need to heed that calling. Yet I find it hard to do so. My soul is restless and my mind is a mess. The rest I seek can not be found on the shore lines of Lake Michigan, seek as I might, nope the rest I seek is found only in the comforting arms of my loving God. 

It is confession I seek and the Holy Mass I need. It is the arms of the Church and the love of Christ that will calm my soul and ease my mind. 

The Catholic Church, the one true Church established by Jesus the Christ is where I will find comfort and rest, yet it seems that I have been running in the opposite direction of it, as of late. I have lost my way, yet I seek to find it yet again. Like Peter I have denied my Lord, so now I am awaiting the cock to crow so I to my repent and cry tears of sorrow over my sins. 

 Pray for me that I may find the rest I seek, that I may find the comfort in the Church that I have lost. Pray for me that I may once again return home to my loving Father… 

I have not left the Church, but as of late attending Mass has been, well a little less that perfect… 

Not sure why that its, but I am sure it is all the same issue, I seek rest… Jesus spoke the words from the cross “I Thirst” and in away I am seeking the same words, I to Thirst… I Thirst for the rest I am lacking with in my soul… 

Pray for me… 

God Bless 

Paul 

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