You ever read a book or an article and say to yourself, “Hmm, that’s an interesting quote or comment, I think I will write about that”. Most likely you haven’t unless your are a write or blogger, over the last few days I have been saying that a lot, I would read an article here and say, hmm, or read a passage from one of the many books I am reading as think, that’s my next blog. But as you can see, they never made in here. Shame too, they were great comments or quotes.
But such is life, we all to often have the best of intentions but all to often fail to follow through. Sad really if you think about it, so many opportunities to brighten someone’s day missed, so many chances to change your life around, missed.
Now you would think that I would learn to high light the passage or to keep a pad of paper and pen near by, so when I read I can jot a note or two. But I don’t, I do have Microsoft’s OneNote loaded up on my laptop and use that to save information to, but all to often I forget about that. But I was reminded about it the other day, so I am starting to use it once again, so who knows, maybe I will be posting here a tad bit more… We will see.
Life is a tad bit complicated at the moment, several ghost from my past are revisiting my current life. Bringing up some happy and not so happy memories. The days that have past leave a shadow of what they once were, and as we all know shadows are not as sharp and clear as the real image. So the ghost that haunt me are just the shadows of my memories of days gone by. But they leave an unsettling feeling with in me, a feeling that soon something is going to happen. Good, bad or indifferent, I am not sure, just the tingle in my spine that tells me to keep my guard up.
The past is a funny thing, each of us lives our past in a void, no two past are the same. That is different from the now, the now we all share, but the past is ours and ours alone. The shadows I carry with me are of my creation, they are my ghost that haunt the corners of existence. They are the dark spots in my mind, the spots where even the wind is afraid to go. They swell up and bellow out there hunting tail into the vastness of my humanity, leaving me to wither and shutter under it’s supremacy. It is the shadows of yesterdays that seem to haunt me the most, the what if and should have’s. The questions of regret and sorrow that flutter in and out of the shadows. Diving deep into the crevasses of memories, prying loss the fragments of despair and doubt, mingled with melancholy and forged with anguish.
The melodrama above is not a cry for help, nor a sign of depression, but rather an astute reading of my present state of mind. Funny how it just happened to come out of me. By no means was this blog to goo in this direct, it was to be about not writing down what I read or heard. But what it did turn into was a blog about my mood. And I must say a rather good reading of my mood, in fact it was so good that I myself did not know the state of my mood until I read what I had written. The power of the written word, not only for the reader, but more so for the writer.